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    Run For Your Life, Black Hockey Jesus!
    « Snugglebug | Main | Streaks »

    Stealing Candy

    The key to stealing candy is the presentation of a confident nonchalance. When you’re twelve, they’re watching you so you gotta play it cool like those cats who play pool in the back of smoky bars. You gotta look, think, and feel innocent.

    You are, you know? We all are. Innocent.

    The thing I would do for a long time is peruse, acting like I just could not choose. There’s not enough eyes in your head to watch all the store’s employees so you have to abandon the normal ways of knowing things and wait for those moments when you don’t feel seen. You know how all those wisdom books tell you to be here now, wholly in the moment? Well one way to achieve a heightened sense of presence is by waiting for the split second when it's safe to steal candy.


    When you met me at the airport, it was the first time I actually saw you. Your corporeal existence challenged my nerve. You actually had three dimensions and you smiled in real life. It made me wonder what I was really capable of behind my presentation of confident nonchalance. But once the taxi doors slammed, I abandoned my normal ways of knowing things. I told the driver the name of our hotel, grabbed the back of your neck, and kissed you. My other hand clutched your leg atop your purple dress and then beneath it.


    I took my shirt off and pedaled my 10-speed home with no hands, eating stolen candy. The gentle breeze blew through my hair and on my bare chest. The future was huge and bursting and endless like the sky or the pressure of desire. I was a thief. The world was mine. The whole world was mine for the taking.

    Reader Comments (16)

    confident nonchalance.
    Yeah. I've never been able to pull that off.

    June 16, 2011 at 9:04 PM | Unregistered CommenterSarahInMI

    Lordy man, you write it up so good.

    June 16, 2011 at 10:12 PM | Unregistered Commenterearnestgirl

    Oh beautiful. Beautiful.

    June 17, 2011 at 3:16 AM | Unregistered Commenterafteriris

    ...would never have taken you for someone who'd quote OLP....but I have no problem envisioning a tiny klepto BHJ carefully eying the black licorice for a quick getaway.

    bet taxi drivers LOVE those kinds of rides.

    June 17, 2011 at 5:58 AM | Unregistered CommenterNatalie

    sweet fucking JESUS, you've gotta way with words.

    June 17, 2011 at 9:45 AM | Unregistered Commenterdonna

    like it

    June 17, 2011 at 9:58 AM | Unregistered CommenterS

    What a lucky lady.

    June 17, 2011 at 10:33 AM | Unregistered CommenterChristina

    i like to feel innocent.
    and i like stealing candy.
    and airports.

    all good.

    June 17, 2011 at 1:34 PM | Unregistered Commenterjen lemen

    Aw. But isn't stealing wrong? Can't you just pay for the candy? Confused.

    June 17, 2011 at 1:43 PM | Unregistered CommenterJuli

    Now you've got my sweet tooth all riled up...

    June 17, 2011 at 5:02 PM | Unregistered CommenterR

    There was a time when I stole candy everyday, sometimes pocketfuls, from the Ben Franklin (and old, more despised KMart) on my way home from school. I was about 12 then. You just put me back there. The neat trick, is that I stayed with you when we stole candy together at the airport. That's talent. And confidence. And more than that, desire.

    Brilliant shit.

    June 17, 2011 at 7:38 PM | Unregistered CommenterNinja Mom

    Ack. Love that story. Gorgeous.

    June 18, 2011 at 6:25 AM | Unregistered CommenterJo

    Ack. Love that story. Gorgeous.

    June 18, 2011 at 6:25 AM | Unregistered CommenterJo

    That weird feeling in the air -- you've described it so well -- I've never stolen candy but I've known and breathed that air.

    June 21, 2011 at 11:15 AM | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

    Man, I really want someone to steal my candy.

    (Recently, your writing has really taken off for me ~ writing closer to the heart, perhaps? I really like it ~ I like seeing you stretch and grow. Thanks for letting me come along for the ride.)

    June 27, 2011 at 9:55 AM | Unregistered CommenterKim

    Tingly poetry to my ears.

    July 8, 2011 at 8:09 AM | Unregistered CommenterCortney

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