Dead Hooker Sutra

It was after my son found the dead hooker in the bath tub that I began to question my moral integrity. “What’s with the dead hooker in the bath tub?” he asked. “Her? She OD’d.” I replied. “Why do hookers do drugs in your apartment?” he asked. “It’s a function of the single life.” I explained, “When you and your sister aren’t here, it’s all loud music, fringe sex acts, and buckets of cocaine.” It was then that I became oddly self aware and, like I said, began to question my moral integrity.

Am I okay?

I asked earnestly. But it quickly occurred to me that it was a stupid question so I told my son to do his homework. The hooker was beautiful in a dead kind of way. I remembered her laughing the night before, and crying. She lived a full life. Like everyone else, she was made of camera tricks and dreams. Regardless of how I felt about myself, her body remained, there, lit by the mystery of being, on ice. I could’ve loved her. But who can say for sure in this smoky maze of mirrors, shadows, and errant projections?

“There’s not really a dead hooker in the bath tub.” I told my son, helping him develop variables for algebraic equations. “I know,” he said, “I’m not stupid. But why would you even write about a dead hooker in your bath tub when there’s not really a dead hooker in your bath tub?”

“Because last night, after we sat for 30 minutes, the Zen guy gave this talk about allowing the veneer of Korean ritual to give way to however Zen would appear in the West. Then he said ‘Because Zen is not India. It’s not China or Korea or Japan. Zen is—‘ and he SLAPPED the wood floor, hard, with his hand and tears flowed down my cheeks because I knew I was face to face with all the Patriarchs before my parents were born and three pounds of flax and a bunch of shit like that.”

You’re going to be okay. Yes, you.

Even if there’s a dead hooker in your bath tub, listen to me. You’re going to be okay. She won’t be there forever.

Comments

This is why I keep my whores in the garage.

YES NEVER LET WHORES IN THE HOUSE

I feel better thanks. I don't know why because I don't understand half the shit you write but I feel better anyway. So thanks!

you know what? this is the best damn writing i have read in a long time.

and i believe you. thanks.

The dead hooker in my bathtub is me.

Except, she's actually in the wardrobe, she's sad and dead. My friend had a dream about it.

People nowadays see these flowers as if in a dream. - Case 91, Shoyoroku

And you're going to be (already are) ok too.

"Like everyone else, she was made of camera tricks and dreams."

Screw you with your perfect lines, just, whatever, okay?

And I hope so. Yeah, me.

dead hookers are the most environmentally friendly of all the hookers, since they biodegrade and all

I teared up a little on this because my mom always used to use dead hooker references laced with great wisdom. "Remember, son, a dead hooker isn't anything but a trip to Wal Mart for a $10.00 camping shovel." And you know what? She was right.

There is a moment when I first wake up that I am fine....then I think *sink*" dead hooker!"
I lace up my shoes and go out and run in 15 degrees chanting that she won't always be here...
I have named her Kelly.