The Secret Of Lightness And Speed Is Joy

You knew before the first step, didn’t you? Yes. Of course you did. These are the kinds of things you just know. Because little gods whisper them to you in the morning, before you wake up. They tickle your ear with tales of wonderful fates.

Oh God, I wish I was there. Let me imagine you. Favorite black jeans. Long pink sleeves. Hair. Extremely brushed. Black low top Converse with sparkles. No socks. Sunscreen? Check. And before the principal ever screamed “GO!”, you there—ready, eager, knowing—because the secret difference between winners and losers is a cool certainty that feels meant and a doubt that loses before it even begins.

When I see you running, I see form too pure to worry about form. There is just this mad urgent dashing consumed by its own mad urgent dashing. I love you so much. Your arms pump instinctively and your stride is wide open. Your long blonde hair bounces behind you. Who is it waving to? The wind. It pines for your hair. Sometimes, I think the wind only blows for you.

You’re out in front immediately. What’s the secret of your lead? Your natural talent? No. Your training? What training? Your form? Your stride? No. None of that. Yours is a trick more subtle and genuine.

It’s your smile. And even though your lungs are on fire, a giggle escapes you. Because you’re going to win. Because the gods told you so. Because the secret of lightness and speed is joy. The other kids try too hard. But you? You’re smiling. And you’re almost there. You’re almost there. You don’t even look to your left or your right because you’re almost there and you knew before the principal ever screamed “GO!” or you took your first step.

You are the fastest girl in Kindergarten.

I see you. Your chest is heaving. Your heart is beating in your chest like your brother’s bass drum. You’re proud and tired and you want some water. Kids tell you “Good job!” and you tell them “Thanks!”. What is that feeling, little girl? I don’t know. But all of us want it as tenaciously as love and only some of us get it for a very little while. So smile, Elle Bee, smile. Victorious, toothless, perfect.

You are the fastest girl in Kindergarten. And I can’t wait until you come running out of that school to tell your Daddy.

Comments

*falls over dead*

Wow. I love this. LOVE this.

Oh god damn it.

"extremely brushed" made me smile.

Oftentimes, reading your blog, I wish that my dad had thoughts like this about me.

I hope that's a compliment or something and not just creepy.

Your writing is magic and your love for her is so pure. Thank you for sharing it with us.

You're completely atypical.

And now we know that the wind feels good on other parts, too.

This is just so beautiful. Don't want to admit it, but I'm teary now.

smile, bhj, smile.

Pure love doesn't get much better than this....and you express it in a way ..only ..YOU ..can.

That one got me in the gut. Hope they are talking to you after that one cuz damn you love that family. Cograts little one on the race

You do know don't you... It's like when you're playing pool. You know wether you're going to sink the ball before the cue even hits the white.

I really love your blog.

my eyes are stinging...

I don't know where the beauty comes from. I never loved my kids like that.

You are such a bad ass, but fully equipped with a secret tender-heartedness so rare to find. Makes you priceless, thug boy.

Perfection. You write like she runs. Seamless, gorgeous, natural.

It's obvious to me that your rage and your love come from the same place. I can tell because they are equally intense. I'm just glad they are both able to find their way to the page. I'm also thinking our daughters have the same sneakers. I think they are called Twinkle Toes...

love.this.post.

Proud Parent = Best Feeling Ever. I know it. What a privilege. Glad you're not missing it!

Great post. I could *see* her running, hair flying back, laughter on her face. I could *see* your love and pride, too. Awesome. Wish I could write half as well. (I can write technical crap, but nothing with beauty in it)

This is up there w/ your birthday post to her a couple of years ago.... they both are so pure!

So well written. I love watching my little girl run with all her might and the look of joy on her face... because soon that will change, as she gets older, and she realizes running SUCKS ;)

"sometimes, I think the wind only blows for you"

loving her the way you do, will get her through anything. you're a good daddy, bhj.

My heart just exploded. Beautiful.

looking at my girls while they run, i don't think i'll feel this way about them. especially since they complain about sweating when they move their forearms. we are lazy simple people.

You are a master of darkness and light.

This was very, very nice. Thank you. It's full of that little-kid enthusiasm that I love so much.

Your talent is unreasonable. This post took my breath away and then the little gods brought it back.