If you click this, you can read about Dooce totally effing up a backflip on a trampoline and going to the hospital on the 4th of July.
She also mentions how Alive by Pearl Jam kicks ass, and she is absolutely right. In fact, Alive by Pearl Jam is the 4th best song in the history of planet earth behind Dylan's Visions of Johanna, Wish You Were Here by Floyd, and The Stones' Sympathy For The Devil. Don't give me a bunch of shit Beatles people - I told you I just don't get it. Mike Spohr is trying to get me to see the light and save my Beatle Soul. And I'm trying hard to understand, but so far obla di obla da la la la la blow me.
Anyway, Dooce continues to be unflinchingly unaware of me. She refuses to send me my class ring and she refuses to sue me for stealing her ideas. So I'm gonna keep stealing her ideas.
Dear Jackson (Newsletter: Month 120),
You are 10 this month. Stop bugging me.
Also, this post serves as my Dooce Backflip Challenge. If she's unimpressed with my writing, maybe I can seduce her attention with my acrobatic prowess. Enjoy.
Some Notes: Not only do I backflip, I backflip while covering my face because that's how I do. Also, there's 1 backflip where you'll notice me taunting the camera with a pointed finger. I edited out the sound because a neighbor swore at me to shut-up but I actually screamed "DOOOOCE!" in a very taunting "Look at me backflip while you're in the ER" manner. I don't carry the song in the video through to the end because 5+ minutes of backflipping is too much even when it's this rad. I also pull off a double front flip. It is as you may have guessed totally fucking awesome, but I want to apologize for the slow motion version: you can see a little crack. Again, very sorry for that. But that's another mode of taunting, no? Lastly, I'm a 36-year-old man. 6'3", 210 pounds.