Stefanie Wilder-Taylor is awesome. When she put my name in blue (underlined) on her blog, my head exploded. Seriously. Jenna was like "Aw pick up your head pieces, dude. There's blood and brains all over the living room." I was logged into StatCounter all day long. It was surreal: Spain. Australia. Iceland. WTF? She patiently answered my millions of questions about blogging and now she's currently answering my millions of questions about book publishing (wink). She's my awesome writing mentor! Even though I've only known her for 2 months and we've never met in person, I feel like she's my protective big sister showing me the ropes (she's like 15 years older than me or something).
Go buy her books. They're funny as hell and they're not filled with a bunch of stupid parenting crap like the stuff that surrounds her on the shelves. IN BARNES & NOBLE. AND BORDERS. ETC!
This is a picture of her when she was little. She's so enthusiastic. Thanks Stefanie.
Hi, I'm not Black Hockey Jesus. But isn't everyone these days? The blogging world seems to be divided into "Black Hockey Jesus" and the rest of us, "NOT Black Hockey Jesus." He's that good. I'm especially excited about being asked to guest post today because in a small way I feel like I got in with BHJ on the ground floor. He wrote funny comment after funny comment on my blog until I couldn't contain myself and had to write him and gush about his genius, hilarity, intelligence...and a monster was created. A gifted monster. And now, I'm just riding on his coattails. Thanks BHJ!
Baby On Bored’s Tips for Fame.
Everyone wants a lot of readers for their blog. Everyone, especially BHJ is obsessed with comments. Why? Because we want to be famous in real life. We want to be special. Well, getting blog-notice is one of the basic tenets of stardom and as you’ve probably already noticed, it doesn’t take talent so much as hard work. So, I’ve put together some tips to apply to your everyday blogging which may just help you transition from anonymous blogger to STAR!
· Every few months tell your readers it’s your birthday.
· Wear a name tag with your URL everywhere you go. That way people will refer to you by your blog name and it will appear that everyone knows of you. Pick up some “Hi my name is” tags and write your blog name on all of them.
· Have an interesting spelling for your commenter’s name. If your name is Tom, try spelling it Thomb or if it’s Jill go by Jillll. Get indignant when people ask about it.
· Wear really weird crazy outfits to an event. Because later you may show up in a “Would You Be Caught Dead In This Outfit?” column. Would I be caught dead in a National Publication? Yes I would!
· Admitting to being out of your mind is preferable to being boring. Who’s more memorable: Schizomomia or Heartfelt Mom ?
· Pretend your blog is huge in another country. Americans are very egocentric. No one knows anything about people in England or Germany for that matter. Who’s going to argue with you?
· Constantly refer to yourself in the third person. Say “Stefanie is an excellent writer” Later, people won’t remember who told them that they just remember Stefanie is an excellent writer.
· Have an angle and spin it for maximum benefit. Come up with something like that whole “Jewel being homeless thing” Take your story to lunch a few times before you start blogging about it all the time. Focus group it.
· If you’re posting pictures of yourself, you have to be too something. If you’re gonna be fat, you gotta be Carnie Wilson FAT. Everyone knows who she is. You don’t hear a lot about Jenny Smith from that show on the WB. You know who I’m talking about? No. Exactly. If you’re going to be thin, be anorexic. Make Nicole Richie look like a fat ass next to you.
· Suddenly have a disease. Not Parkinsons. Too overdone. But always tell people that “they’re very close to a cure” Stay positive. Try being a survivor of an interesting yet fatal disease. Although…
· Don’t put a button on your blog asking for donations to help cure your fake disease. Apparently…this is illegal.
· Never underestimate how far a bad childhood can get you. The appropriate time to bring up your bad childhood is anytime you can’t think of something to blog about.