I am still in Sedona, but I'll be heading home this AM.
Not gonna look at the camera. Why? BECAUSE SHE HATES THE GRAND CANYON!
Not gonna walk. Why? BECAUSE SHE HATES THE GRAND CANYON!
Do you remember when I wrote that post about my darling little Sweet Face? Well here's good old Sweet Face in a Korean restaurant.
The best part of the trip is tough to nail down. We did a lot of trip stuff, and we had big fun but my best part is a lot more mystical than your average good time. It requires me to first tell you about losing my sunglasses 2 minutes before we left and buying a pair of BluBlockers at Walgreens. Do you remember that fat black guy rapping about the BluBlockers on the infomercial? Shit was dope and you know this.
So anyway, I was driving down the highway. We were "vacationing", you know? We were leaving all those roles we call our lives behind us. Dropping them. Forgetting them. Except the roles we play for each other: Dad, Husband, Wife, Mom, Son, Daughter, Brother, Sister - those people we believe we mostly are. We don't shed those. We're driving down the highway. The kids are sleeping. Jenna's sleeping. Her bare feet are on the dash and her toenails are painted red and they catch the sun in a way that would cast a star shaped glare in a photograph. The Pixies are coming through the speakers. The earth spinningly exists in a relationship with the sun that allows for all these dreams of possibility. The desert shrubbery and the rusty rock formations shine through my BluBlockers in cartoon shades of blueless green and orange that smacks of a Chagall. We're driving down the highway. The Pixies. Her red toenails. And I feel like my life means something. You know? Like it was meant for something. I feel fated. I feel I feel I feel beyond myself, like "I" am not merely Black Hockey Jesus but rather "I" am this four-headed beast called "my family", in a car driving down the highway. My life isn't me, you know? But I'm actually these people; these people are who I am. And I want to wake them and tell them I love them, that I figured something out, but I don't because I'll stutter and I won't express it right and they'll think I started drinking again or that I've finally cracked or something. So I let them sleep. I glance at Jack & Lucy in the rearview. I listen to the Pixies. I look at Jenna's red toes.
And I just silently love these 3 people in my blueless world. That was the best part.