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Falling In Circles

If, one day, the sun set in just the right way and we fell in love, we would fall in love at a traveling carnival in autumn. Gasping leaves—red, yellow and orange—would fling themselves from their desperate trees, blow about and fall in the subtle wind. A rude drunk would shout and trip and the sun would slowly dip in the hospitable lake. But it wouldn’t be dark.

Because we would be falling in love in the raucous glare of carnival lights, bright, variously colored and manically flashing. Slick haired tricksters would heckle us (Step right up!) and taunt me into playing games, to win you an enormous stuffed Panda because all sweethearts need enormous stuffed Pandas and I would try but I would lose because all those games are rigged, the hoop is just too small for that big basketball.

But, like lovers, we’d ignore the metaphor about rigged games that can never be won and continue to dwell on falling leaves and falling drunks and falling in love in the setting sun.

Because above and beyond all the games we never stop losing, aren’t we ultimately here for the ride? The Ferris wheel. The merry-go-round. The Tilt-a-Whirl. All those amusements that, after we have waited so long in the yawn of rigid lines, break the mold with the irrational joy of circles. To what end this love? Exactly.

There’s no end to the way the Ferris wheel turns. No place where the merry-go-round begins. Night and day. Seasons. The years. We’re dizzy, disoriented, distorted by funhouse mirrors. And then we circle back, hand in hand, to ride the roller coaster again. Here is our metaphor. Falling in circles. We would fall in love at a traveling carnival in autumn. We’d fall asleep every night and rise every morning. Again and again with nothing to win, no losing, no lines and no stuffed Panda bears.

Reader Comments (13)

Beautiful. Heart aching.

August 12, 2011 at 1:39 AM | Unregistered Commenterafteriris

Love, love.

August 12, 2011 at 1:52 AM | Unregistered Commenteredenland

I needed this one. Losing faith in Love - I guess. :(

August 12, 2011 at 2:00 AM | Unregistered CommenterGigi

Man, your writing is stunning, this post was just gorgeous. I want to be a character in your head.

August 12, 2011 at 2:26 AM | Unregistered CommenterPetunia

The day I have your book in my hand will be a very happy day, indeed. I felt the carnival.

August 12, 2011 at 4:23 AM | Unregistered CommenterAngela

Breathtaking & heartbreaking

August 12, 2011 at 4:40 AM | Unregistered Commenterlizardek

I like your version of love...mine has been alot less circular and smooth...more like stop, start, dip your chin, collide...make up, repeat. Circles as so much more soothing...maybe we just need to go to the carnival more often.

August 12, 2011 at 5:23 AM | Unregistered CommenterNatalie

Dizzying. I especially love the last paragraph. Certainty, clarity within the chaos.

August 12, 2011 at 6:10 AM | Unregistered CommenterKristine

Beautiful. 30 odd years ago my husband and I went to the Crystal Beach amusement park on our honeymoon - did the world famous wooden roller coaster that no longer is - he won me a giant raccoon on the stars that you shoot out. They have the sights rigged to be off but he was always able to compensate somehow...

August 12, 2011 at 7:12 AM | Unregistered CommenterJeannie


August 12, 2011 at 1:20 PM | Unregistered CommenterAmelia

Hmm,, big, slow, smiling hmm. I like this very much..

August 12, 2011 at 7:00 PM | Unregistered CommenterNinja Mom

This made me cry. Beautiful.

August 13, 2011 at 8:48 PM | Unregistered CommenterMeredith


August 16, 2011 at 7:35 AM | Unregistered Commenter12Purple

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