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The Black Hockey Jesus BlogHer 5K(s) for Tanner

This is Tanner.

He's 8-years-old and - it's pretty much a law - 8-year-olds need good nicknames. I can't decide between T-Rex and Tan The Man. Or how about just Manner? That's pretty tough. It needs to be tough to counteract all this tutu nonsense. Wait. I'm getting ahead of myself.

Tanner is Her Bad Mother, Catherine's, nephew. He has Duchenne's Muscular Dystrophy, a disease that causes his muscles to deteriorate and it's not going to stop until he dies. I don't have the writing chops to deal with that last sentence in a way that's effective so I'm just going to keep going because that's what we do. I've been reading about Tanner via Catherine and the Shredheads and their quest to raise awareness of muscular dystrophy by running races in tutus.


I know. Tutus. Dude. So then, today, I read that this tutu madness was going to storm the BlogHer 5K in NYC on August 6th and that Tanner was going to be there.

This little Tanner guy. T-Rex. T-Bone. Tan The MAN! He's going to be there. And he started evolving from this sad abstraction on the internet into the kid who's going to be there. Which made me think "Dammit, Tanner. I am NOT wearing a tutu. That's totally stupid." I mean if I were Tanner (with all due respect to the Shredheads), I'm sorry. I'd be more than a little inclined to wonder what's up with the flipping tutus. So, I wondered, what could I do for Tanner that's way cooler and tougher and also not a tutu?

That's when the BlogHer 5K transformed, with no permission from its organizers (Devil take permission), into the Black Hockey Jesus BlogHer 5K(s) for Tanner. What? Yeah. When I hit the finish line, I'm going around again. And again. And again. Everybody else will be gone. Off to breakfast. But I'm going to keep cracking off 5Ks in Central Park. For Tanner. Until my muscles quit letting me. Until I catch a fraction of a glimpse into the world he lives in.

And here's where you come in. I want you to sponsor me by making a donation to help Tanner and other kids like him. See that widget on my sidebar over there, above the Paul Klee painting? Scroll back up. You can use that to donate or visit my new website sponsored by The Black Hockey Jesus Run For Tanner Institute Of Philanthropy.

And there's 2 ways to play:

1). Just make a donation because you're a charitable spirit with a big heart or

2). Make a pledge in my comments for a dollar amount per 5K. For instance, if you pledge $10 and I run 6 5Ks in a row, then you donate $60. I'll run till I quit on August 6th, let you know what happens, and you stay true to your pledge by August 10th.

Sound good? Let's do it then. I'm looking forward to running the initial 5K with all the participants and welcome anyone else who wants to keep going and keep me company. And, okay fine, I'll wear a tutu - a black one. A Black Hockey Tutu.


Reader Comments (43)

I'll sponsor for sure! and i'll do a second and maybe more too! I'm sure by the time i do it twice you'll be on four or five...

Seriously though, way to go.

July 5, 2010 at 4:59 PM | Unregistered Commenterjess

I've got you for $20 per 5K, BHJ. Cash. Under the table.

July 5, 2010 at 5:16 PM | Unregistered CommenterABDPBT

I'm in ! And if probate hell is over by then I'll up my ante.

July 5, 2010 at 5:43 PM | Unregistered CommenterKim

You know we're gonna need pics, right? Some evidence of tutu wearing. Because although the extra runs are indeed impressive, doing them in a black tutu really just makes it all SO MUCH BETTER.

July 5, 2010 at 6:05 PM | Unregistered CommenterJess

I'll sponsor you -- $5 per 5K.

July 5, 2010 at 6:05 PM | Unregistered Commenterelizabeth

$10 per 5K, plus I'll make you a sweet ass tutu. It may be so cool that you take to wearing it on all of your runs. And someone better snaps some photos since I couldn't afford to come along.

July 5, 2010 at 6:26 PM | Unregistered CommenterJenna

I haven't really cared about not going to BlogHer this year...but THIS I wish I were there to see.

I chipped in above; a modest amount, but as we're broke and jobless it's the best I can do for now. If I strike it rich between now and then, I'll up my donation.

Looking forward to the pictures.

July 5, 2010 at 6:42 PM | Unregistered CommenterChristine

If you finish two of your 5k's before I finish my one I am gonna be super pissed. Fair warning.

See you on the path. I'm in for $10. Keeping it conservative cuz I'm a big believer in your powers.

July 5, 2010 at 6:48 PM | Unregistered CommenterMaggie, dammit

$15 per 5K!!! What an awesome thing you're doing for such a cause! I did not realize Tanner was 8 - he's the same age as my oldest, Hunter, that we call HunterMan. Little brother is Tyler, or TMan. I cannot bear to fathom that this were to be happening to Hunter. Good for you for doing what you can and everyone else too!!

July 5, 2010 at 6:49 PM | Unregistered CommenterVHMPrincess

5 per 5k, dude. And I also want tutu evidence.

July 5, 2010 at 7:14 PM | Unregistered CommenterBekka

I'm in the later group of 5k-ers and will go $10 for every 5k you do.

And, really, this is the coolest idea. I don't know Tanner, but I'm willing to bet he'll think this is pretty awesome too.

July 5, 2010 at 7:21 PM | Unregistered CommenterFairly Odd Mother

I'm in. You've got $50 of my dollars for TanMan.

July 5, 2010 at 8:08 PM | Unregistered CommenterSilver

I'm in for $10 per 5K...No words for how unbelievably proud I am. To have Tanner there seeing this and cheering you on will be the reason you will run your hardest, longest and most gratifying race ever. Run like the wind, BHJ..love to you!

July 5, 2010 at 8:26 PM | Unregistered CommenterMom

$5 a race for me with a minimum of $25. I'm looking forward to the pics! You are amazing!
Aunt Cathy

July 6, 2010 at 4:49 AM | Unregistered CommenterAunt Cathy

Jon, what a wonderful idea. Tanner and other children with debilitating diseases are so fortunate to have people like you that have the initiative to organize runs and such to help monetarily fight for them. I am proud of you. I am in. Love ya madly, Aunt Suzie

July 6, 2010 at 5:58 AM | Unregistered CommenterAunt Suzie

Tell you what, Tan Man, I'll match what everyone else from the comments contributes. I think BHJ is too pussy to run more than 5k anyway.

July 6, 2010 at 5:58 AM | Unregistered Commentermuskrat

I should have checked with Grandpa before I made my pledge! He wants to up the contribution. In the names of his 4 precious loves, Jackson, Lucy, Will and Abby, he's in for $50 each. We are so fortunate to have them all so healthy, strong and beautiful that helping the TanMan and other little ones like him is the least we can do. He also, Jon, thinks you are pretty darn amazing!! Run like the wind, BHJ...love to you from both of us.

July 6, 2010 at 6:33 AM | Unregistered CommenterMom

$7.50 per 5K with a minimum of $35.

July 6, 2010 at 6:39 AM | Unregistered Commenterpalinode

I'm in. $5 per 5K

July 6, 2010 at 11:34 AM | Unregistered CommenterMo

Okay that is too cool. I will definitely see you at the run... and donate. Except I have to wait until we get paid... sorry.

July 6, 2010 at 6:56 PM | Unregistered CommenterShelle-BlokThoughts

I will join most definately! Keep me posted via facebook as I am coming with Tanner!

July 6, 2010 at 7:19 PM | Unregistered CommenterChrissie Connors - Tanners Mom

I will join you in your 5K's - I am coming with Tanner

July 6, 2010 at 7:20 PM | Unregistered CommenterChrissie Connors - Tanners Mom

BHJ, those are Tanner's thoughts exactly - a quote from yesterday: "Why can't it be t-shirts for Tanner instead of tutus?" Priceless!! I'm looking forward to being a part of this, if only as a photographer :P Very inspiring!

I'm in for $50 total.

July 6, 2010 at 9:26 PM | Unregistered CommenterJocelyn

Put me down for $10 for each 5K and I add an extra $20 to the total if it ends with someone either carting your wussy ass to jail or the hospital.

July 7, 2010 at 8:13 AM | Unregistered Commenteralways home and uncool

Put me down for $5 per 5k.

And I'm with Maggie - if you freaking lap me I'm gonna be pissed. But seeing the black tutu will deaden the pain, just a bit.


July 7, 2010 at 9:34 AM | Unregistered CommenterEllie @ One Crafty Mother


Run your ass off!

July 7, 2010 at 9:58 AM | Unregistered CommenterShelley

I'm walking too. In my orthopedic weeble-wobble shoes.

Count me in for 5$ for 5K.

July 7, 2010 at 1:09 PM | Unregistered CommenterAnn's Rants

I just chipped in $40. See you there.

July 7, 2010 at 1:44 PM | Unregistered CommenterMarilyn



July 8, 2010 at 6:59 AM | Unregistered CommenterEd

Done. Kick some ass.

July 8, 2010 at 10:09 AM | Unregistered CommenterHolmes

I'm in for $10 per 5K. And I vote for T-Bone.

July 8, 2010 at 8:49 PM | Unregistered CommenterNaz

dude, i'm bummed. I'm on the waitlist for the run and 3k is lame i want to run for Tanner.

July 9, 2010 at 1:29 AM | Unregistered Commenterjess

Put me down for 25 smackers per 5k. Good on you dude. You have a generous heart. And good lungs. Wish I was there to cheer you on.

July 9, 2010 at 12:46 PM | Unregistered CommenterRedneck Mommy

$10 per 5k and I expect no less than 25k's out of you. I may even stroll down to the park with a danish and coffee in hand to see you in your tutu, but I'm not making any promises because that's pretty early for me.

July 9, 2010 at 3:44 PM | Unregistered CommenterBitchin' Amy

I can't wait to see you in your black tutu.

This made me cry.

You know, in a good way.

I'm in for $5 per 5K.

July 10, 2010 at 1:05 PM | Unregistered CommenterLotus / Sarcastic Mom

$5 per 5K, plus an extra $50 if (when) you make it past 5 of them.

July 12, 2010 at 11:04 AM | Unregistered CommenterBill

You pulled me out of lurkerdom (and I might not go back). I "chipped in" already, and will also pledge $5 per 5K. And I'll see you in NYC. And you rock a tutu.

July 13, 2010 at 8:56 AM | Unregistered Commentermosey

Yep, I'm in for $10 per 5K. Run like the wind.

July 14, 2010 at 11:26 AM | Unregistered CommenterSteam Me Up Kid

I am in for 10 for each 5K.
Good luck...have fun!

July 27, 2010 at 6:33 PM | Unregistered CommenterSheila

First time reader. Just wanted to say that this post made me cry. In a good omg you just melted my heart kind of way. Good on you for being so generous and strong enough to do this. Seriously amazing

July 29, 2010 at 6:28 PM | Unregistered Commenterpam @vampiresmitten

Been meaning to comment for ages- I'm in for $15 per 5K.

August 4, 2010 at 4:48 AM | Unregistered Commenterpseudostoops

no wonder why my roommate, Sherriemae23, declared you her hero. Wow.

August 9, 2010 at 6:44 AM | Unregistered CommenterDawniemom

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