5 MONTH UPDATE: The 365 Day BHJ Fitness Regime
After 151 days of running every day, I ended May with a total of 921 miles for the year. That was a clunky sentence but I’m letting it stand. I’m tired. I told you. I run a lot. In the past month, I’ve surpassed all my best times in the 5K, the 10K, and the half marathon distance. I feel good. I’m proud of myself. It’s leading me to think differently about bodies, what they are, and what they’re for - and some of these thoughts will be offensive to some people. Sorry. A little.
The master planned community pool is open for business and awash with fat acceptance. In some cases, the choice of swimwear indicates a step beyond fat acceptance to blatant fat pride: “I AM FAT! VIEW MY ROLLS!” And you know what? Gross.
I’ve had the serenity prayer lolling around my head for 20 years now and I’m more than a little concerned about the way new age pop psych dwells so heavily (look, a pun!) on acceptance while hacking off the last 2 clauses. Yeah, sure, God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, fine, but what the fuck happened to courage and wisdom?
If you’re overweight, and especially if you’re obese, I’ve got news for you. The wisdom of the serenity prayer in your case doesn’t point to acceptance. It screams for courage. The courage to change the things you can. If you’re a big huge fat person, looking in the mirror, struggling to inhabit a serene mind to accept yourself, you’re doing it wrong. You’re using more energy trying to dupe yourself into accepting yourself (because you know you don’t) than it would take to run a couple miles. You should be stoking the courage to change the things you can. Burn your book of self affirmations and go burn some fucking calories.
You know who I just pissed off? Lazy fat people. Do I care if a mob of lazy fat people hate my guts? Not at all.
How could accepting yourself when you’re obese ever be construed as self-love when killing yourself with poor food choices and inactivity are such obvious signs of self-loathing? It’s so fucking backwards. Nothing positive comes from perpetuating denial that won’t let you acknowledge how much you hate yourself. The courage to change doesn’t arise from well considered rational arguments. The courage to change arises from the velocity of emotion that issues forth from no longer being able to stand the torture of looking and feeling like yourself. For me it was sitting at my desk and feeling fat hanging over my belt. It disgusted me. Other fat people must be less easily disgusted or have a greater tolerance for living with disgust.
Those who insist on their right to be 300 pounds, to eat Big Macs, and to stuff Big Macs in the faces of their fat little kids will attempt to topple these arguments by calling me shallow, ignorant, duped by media constructs of ideal body images. Blow me. We’re talking about your body for crying out loud – the flip side of your mind. There’s an enormous (ha ha) difference between the belief that we all need to be supermodels and the belief that it’s perfectly acceptable to be a jiggling 300 pound monument of fat – in a bikini and acting like you’re proud of it. (Acting, because you’re not. You’re not proud of it.)
There will come a day, if we don’t devour the planet and each other first, when what passes for the food we feed our children will be considered child abuse. Defend yourselves, accept yourselves, take pride in yourselves. Whatever. But creating ignorant, obese children who were never shown the joy of running full throttle through the park is a crime. Whitney Houston would be mortified.
I run every day. I run because I’m an animal in a body that finds joy in discovering its limits, surpassing them, expanding them, and redefining them. I live in the sickest culture in world history, one so bent on ease and comfort and acceptance that it scoffs at courage as a vice. And wisdom? Real wisdom just doesn’t sell.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Reader Comments (108)
Amen and pass the cheese puffs.
For what it's worth, I weigh 400 lbs, and I think you're absolutely right. Well-said.
Hello, BHJ.
Sing it, brother. I've lost 115 pounds twice. Yeah, I gained it back after the first time. Oops!
I get so sad when I see the fat acceptance crowd telling me it's fine to be fat. Sure, you shouldn't be mocked or made to feel crappy, but don't try and sell me that you're happy. With the very rare exception, you aren't. I wasn't.
And I wasn't healthy. Stop trying to tell me fat people are as healthy as thin people! They aren't. SOME fat people may be healthier than some skinny people, but don't use it as an excuse. Put the work in. Lose the pounds. Your body will thank you.
Oh, and as I've told you on dailymile many times, you're totally my running hero. I've cut way back after my half, but when the weather gets cooler again I may train for another one. :)
perfect.
I like that you mentioned the "culture of unhealthy" we're being sold by the food comglomerates. We need to be active; we need to eat good food; and we need to do that every damn day. It's really that simple.
Have you ever done any running while weighing 300 pounds? Say, while carrying a really heavy backpack? Maybe while carrying several large children?
If you haven't (most fit people haven't), there are some facts you may be unaware of, about the effects of that much weight on the body.
You're absolutely right that losing weight requires courage. I don't think you have any idea how much or what kind of courage, though.
While I don't disagree, I'm curious if you felt quite this passionate before the running/vegetarian experiment began. It's always been my experience that the more IN IT, I've been with exercise, the more severe my opinions became towards those who obviously were not.
Greg. When I was 240 pounds, I took off running down the street. If that's not heavy enough for you, then you're right, I don't know what I'm talking about.
Zoeyjane. I've believed for many years that eating meat is wrong. I never justified my practice with faulty arguments. I just did the wrong thing. Regarding fitness, yes, a lot of these thoughts and written statements are meant to perpetuate my own enthusiasm. If they inspire others, cool. If they anger others, cool.
I have a theory that no one is more intolerable and narrow-minded than the recently fat person, when it comes to issues of health and fitness. I've been there. Maybe it's because of the mental overhaul you have to give yourself in order to make all those changes and push yourself so hard—you start feeling like if you can do it, well, what the hell? Why can't EVERYONE do it. You start thinking your experience is universal, from the feelings you had about your overweight body to the choices you make today.
There is also courage in being happy doing your own thing, without needing to reassert to anyone other than yourself that you're making the best choices for *your* health.
Fist bump on all your hard work.
bravo. bravo brav-fuckin-o.
best post ever? maybe. top of my list for sure.
Greg - I didn't run at 305 pounds, but I changed my diet. And once I lost a few pounds I started walking. And working in the yard. Things that don't seem like exercise now, but back then they sure were.
Sundry - true point about being narrow minded after losing weight. It's easy to get in the "I did it, so should you" mindset. I had that mindset the first time I lost my weight. Then I gained it all back and got a bit more humble after losing it the second time. OK, usually I'm more humble. ;)
I hope your thoughts and statements inspire many, but piss off even more people. That anger might just shift into inspiration. Fat kids are a crime.
While I enjoyed your entire post - the use of the phrase "Blow Me" (one of my personal favorites even though I don't technically have the equipment to be blown) made me laugh out loud.
Thank you for that.
Agreed. I am so sick of the fat is beautiful mindset. Fat is not beautiful. It is sad and unhealthy. With rare exceptions, everyone can lose weight. It is simple math: fewer calories eaten+more calories burned=weight loss. Its not a gimmick, it's not a trick that only some people can pull off. People who say they are applying that formula and not losing weight are lying, either to themselves in how much they are actually eating or to the world in that they are actually doing it at all. I'm not going to mock or belittle overweight people but neither will I pity them or give them special status. And watching these people slowly kill their children with the same bad habits is torture for me. Get some therapy or whatever it is you really need and get your shit in order. Gah!
Rant over.
For some reason it's not accepting my URL, I'm not deliberately hiding my identity.
Fucking brilliant... finally someone with big enough bouncy, hairy BALLS to tell it like it is... Altho, I too, recite the serenity prayer everyday, all day long in my head, and I still don't have to courage to quit smoking at start running. And I've committed myself to a relay race on August 27th.... I need to shit or get off the pot....
I'm a mess... a hot mess.. But I'm not fat... I'm lucky and was born with a very fast metabolism. I'm an addict and an alcoholic tho... Sometimes I'd rather have been born fat... You are inspiration...
werd
~Erika
Sundry. I didn't know you played tennis. Nice backhand. But I disagree. Militant Muslims. Newly sober people. Born again Christians. Maybe recently fat people 4th.
You speak to me, brother, as do many of those commenting here. I share your same feelings, and also realize as many have pointed out that it's easy for me to feel this way AFTER losing a good chunk of weight and getting in better shape. But why not? We did the work. We made the hard choices. We are allowed to look back and say, hey, I did that, and where I am is better than where I was.
My parents, aunts and uncles, and grandparents were all overweight. The grandparents all died too young, except the one guy who decided in his 50s to take better care of himself. Even he didn't make it to his 80s. My parents are all still alive, but my dad just barely after his having first heart attack at 55. My mom's oldest brother died last year. He was just over 60, and hugely obese, with all the problems that go along with it. So those are the genes I have to work with, and I'm not gonna take it lying down.
My running journey hasn't been easy or pain-free, as I dreamed it would be when I started. I read Born To Run and thought, "that's it, I'm gonna run ultramarathons and it's gonna feel GREAT!" Sometimes it feels great. Other times it hurts. And I ain't runnin' no ultras (yet). But I'm gonna keep at it. I'm gonna fight through the obstacles and see my way to a lifetime of better fitness, one which I hope inspires my children to start being active much sooner than their dad did.
Greg: Don't want to pick on you, but if you weigh 300 lbs, you probably don't need to run to get your heart rate up and sweat a little. There's a certain cruel irony in the fact that the fitter we are, the fewer calories we can eat without gaining weight, and the harder we have to work to burn those calories. Use that irony to your advantage. Small changes add up, if consistently applied.
Provided you're noting the difference between Fat and Unhealthy vs. Healthy and Fit but Larger than You, I'm totally on board with this.
Dude. Ouch.
I don't necessarily disagree with you, but what is it your business what others do? Some people find gay people disgusting and immoral. My feeling is then don't be gay, but what others do is out of your realm. I think what you are doing is terrific. You look and feel great. I want to hear more about your journey. That is inspirational. But why so moralistic about the issue?
I have a genuine question. Why do you give a fuck what I (or anyone else) weigh? If I don't have kids and their well being isn't an issue, then why is it even a concern of yours? I don't drink cause I think its dumb but I don't spend time trying to convince others that they're wrong for doing it. I don't try to get stupid people to read more. To each their own. I'm fat. I'm not out there trying to convince anyone I'm beautiful. I'm not trying to get skinny people to eat more. I'm doing my own thing. Whats the big deal?
Miss Grace. Definitely. Even some of the charts that label people overweight are totally iffy. The thrust of this post was directed at the emergence of a movement that seeks to normalize obesity, to make it okay, fine, even cool. And it's not okay. Especially in light of starvation statistics. The only place this craziness is even remotely thinkable is in the United States of America. This push to accept one's self and be satisfied with one's self, in ANY area, is nothing short of a recipe for mediocre apathy. We are not good enough. Things are not good enough. There's too much that's completely unacceptable and the courage to change begins with the self. Not with being okay just the way you are.
every time you sat the master planned community pool i laugh my ass off.
i've been overweight, never obese, and did it to myself by being lazy & shoveling shit in my mouth. i have to be careful about what i ingest or i won't be as fit as i am today. i also run because i can't afford a lap pool membership. otherwise, i'd swim and run. and i like running. i feel good when i do it & my kids see a good example of someone who cares about their health & wants to be an active part of their lives.
i had someone who was overweight/obese tell me i was sick in the head b/c i eat healthy food & exercise. i'm 5'10" & weigh 150lbs. after 4 kids (and one set of twins) there's some cushion on me, but i'm healthy & i'm fine with it. i have no desire to be so skinny that i look anorexic. it's not me. and i don't find it attractive.
wanna run the ragnar relay in arizona in february?
Neil and Becky. I just sat down to write my monthly update about my running progress and starting riffing on the idea of fat acceptance, which I think is stupid. This has never been another one of those blogs that just goes with the flow - like, "To each his own, man", because I think that's stupid, too. I have ideas. I write about them. On a blog. Neil, you write about what you think is right and wrong (monetizing, anyone?). And Becky, to answer your last question, no big deal. I'm just railing on the idea of fat acceptance to keep myself motivated. These posts - I just sit down, write them, and hit publish. They don't keep me up at night.
Just an observation: Had this been written by a woman, the comments section would be brutal.
I can dig that BHJ. Thanks for the response. Your blog, talk about what you'd like. I just really didn't get why its a big deal to anyone. I hope you keep motivated for your running and I'll keep being fat till I don't want to be anymore.
I appreciate where you are coming from - trying to motivate yourself; decrying the movement to embrace obesity. But, I think it is also worth noting that obesity is an economic issue. A large number of the obese in America are also those Americans living in poverty. Those who cannot necessarily afford fresh fruits and vegetables, or even live near enough or have access to a grocery store to buy healthier foods if they could afford them. Those for whom French fries count as a veggie because that is all they can afford and they are so readily available in our poorest neighborhoods and, well, kids are hungry. They likely live in neighborhoods that do not boast master planned community pools, or even have streets that are safe enough to go for a morning/afternoon/evening run. It is hard to make healthier decisions when there are no healthier decisions available.
I put on weight because I didn't want to be seen, to be noticed or touched. I didn't know it at the time, but what ten-year-old is that self-aware? Some asshole neighbor thought a ten-year-old girl was fair game, and my mind decided it didn't want that to happen again, so I ate. And ate. Always hungry, always trying to fill an empty place that food couldn't touch, but hello? Ten.
When I finally realized why I ate as I did, why I urned to food...that's when I could do something about it. I'm not saying everyone has a root cause besides a tedency to gluttony, but some do. Once we know our root cause, though, we really have no excuse. If I remain fat, it's now a choice, a conscious one.
I've been slowly losing weight. It's slow because I cannot run, yet - my knees and ankles would not tolerate it. I miss running - I ran free as a child and loved it, and dream of doing so again. Slow because I'm fighting a lifetime of ingrained habits and thoughts...they don't just go away when one becomes more self-aware. Slow because I've found rapid weight loss is often follwed by rapid weight re-gain. I've shed a net of forty pounds and would like to be rid of sixty to eighty more. They're not lost - I don't want 'em back.
What's my fucking point? I forget...but I'll leave off with this: I don't subject others to my fat any more than I must, even forgoing swimming in public because I am inwardly cringing at having forced anyone to see my lardass in a bathing suit. Hell, I won't even wear shorts in public...and I live in Georgia. Our summers are brutal. I'd feel awfully guilty over blinding someone.
Shade and Sweetwater,
K
Whatever else anyone takes away from this post and the comments, they should all know that Queen Latifah rocks my goddamned world and ought to rock theirs.
mommymae. I'll look into it. It doesn't take much to talk my family into a weekend getaway.
charmingbitch. Totally. Do you remember Kristin D.'s "I Call Bullshit' post? If I were her, I'd be pissed. Why am I getting off so easy?
jenni. All my impoverished readers with internet connections thank you for your insights.
I'm in recovery, and I have long wanted to call bullshit when people get all enthusiastic about the acceptance part of the serenity prayer and conveniently overlook the other two clauses.
I had no problem accepting myself as a drunk, what I lacked was the courage to change it (one needs motivation to find courage) and you can't even get to wisdom without courage. Rock bottom finally gave me the courage, but if everyone had been running around accepting me I never would have gotten there - this is what scares me about the childhood obesity epidemic.
LOVED this post.
Someone is bound to think me an asshole for it, but I don't entirely buy the whole socio-economic "get-out-of-health-free card" thing. Yeah, a head of broccoli is more expensive than a $2 cheeseburger. But to feed a family of four or six (or anything), you'd need at least $30 or more of $2 cheeseburgers and all the non-actual-food-products that go along with them. More than enough for a head of broccoli, a roasted chicken, and a handful of potatoes.
In some ways, I get it. There can be other issues at play. But then I do the math and I don't fully accept it. It's the latest conversation-ending response to anything that challenges how we eat: BUT THE POOR NEED THEIR NUGGETS. Followed closely by "You don't know shit because you drive a nice Mazda," or "You don't know shit because you wear size medium underwear" or "You don't know shit because you're Mr. Community Pool." You're written off as the privileged twit. Discourse shut down complete.
But that's what you get when you make a stand on food, fitness, and health. It's highly charged and people prefer whatever status quo makes them feel safe and validated. On any front, I guess. We're human.
Loosely related: Sarah Gilbert wrote two great posts about food economics at Walletpop, except she did it without using the words 'shit', 'twit', or 'asshole'.
http://www.walletpop.com/blog/2010/04/15/snack-drawer-food-revolution-starts-with-the-right-ingredients/
http://www.walletpop.com/blog/2010/04/13/jamie-olivers-food-revolution-can-spread-to-you/
I'm fat and I work out EVERY day. I run most days, I swim at least 2x per week, and I ride my bicycle. In fact, I'm training for a triathlon. Part of the reason I work out so hard is because I don't want people to think I'm lazy just because I'm fat.
For the record, I don't eat fast food, don't drink to excess and eat TONS of vegetables. I am hungry all the time just to maintain my chubby stature. I'd be huge if I ate until I wasn't hungry.
I haven't found fat acceptance yet either- I fight it every day.
Kate, it has to do with not just the simplest economics, but time and access, based on where the most impoverished live (Inner cities) the time they have to access cheaper produce (read: none, based on the amount of hours they have to work to stay afloat) and the accessibility of said cheap produce (the deeper into these areas you get, the less availability of fresh, affordable seasonal produce) and also, education plays a factor.
I really don't feel like having the stupid "fat people are to blame!" conversation again, because it's been had a thousand times, and in my mind is resolved with the people I care about, but I at least wanted to address the poor people needing their nuggets bit. That part is complex and can (and should!) be solved, but it ain't as simple as math.
Oh, Jonniker, totally curious. Who did you and the people you care about decide was to blame for being fat? Is it just poverty or a complex of several devious forces beyond our control?
It's lazy fat people that you are referring to. They key word being lazy. It's takes a lot of work for me to maintain the size I am. A tremendous amount of work that includes diet and working out. I admire the people I see, who are not my size, at the gym every week. They are anything but lazy.
Amen.
Amen.
There is DEFINITELY a difference between those of us that are on the heavier side and are working our butts off to get in shape compared to those who are eating themselves into an early grave.
I don't, for one second, believe in the socio-economic argument. People can make healthy and wise decisions if they want to. That's just my personal opinion...
Jesus Christ, I missed you, BHJ.
Even though you were only silent for a week, it felt far longer.
OHmommy. Totally. When I see a big, fat guy loping down the street, I beep my horn and give him the metal horns. What I'm talking about here is this relatively new phenomenon of accepting obesity and giving up on health. And any scholarly research that justifies it, whether it be sociological "proofs' that poor people don't have the means to be healthy (poor people are nothing new; the obesity epidemic is) or all kinds of great physiological and/or psychological "proofs" that it's impossible for certain people to lose weight.
BULLSHIT. When you take someone like Yvonne from Joy Unexpected who has a thyroid condition and BUSTS HER ASS in defiance of it, there's nothing left to do but scoff at a circle of thyroid whiners gathered in a circle accepting each other.
Oh sure, you can find me a medical anomaly, fine, great. But for every medical anomaly, there's 1000 people using "medical proof' to sit on their asses and eat pastries. Yeah, I said it. If you tell me you exercise 7 hours a week and eat healthy and you keep gaining weight, you're lying and the reason you're lying is because you're lazy and embarrassed. Why you're lazy, I don't know. A lot of people are. Maybe it's karma. Let's blame Buddhism. The Buddha was fat.
That's fair, Jonniker. I realize all those factors do come into play, and make health steeper. That's what makes me pause. I just think that "it's too expensive to be healthy" is just as much an over-simplification as "anyone can be healthy".
"There will come a day, if we don’t devour the planet and each other first, when what passes for the food we feed our children will be considered child abuse."
Loved this part. It's an issue close to my heart.
That said, I agree with just about everything you said here. Heck, probably all of it. Some of my best friends are morbidly obese. I have a cousin who, until he had gastric bypass, weighed 600lb at age 20. NOT GOOD. There are A LOT of reasons for such things. Many factors contribute to obesity and just as many will be required to contribute to it's decline. Culture. Economy. Accessibility. Education. Accountability. Genetics. All of these things can contribute to a person's physical condition in addition to whether or not someone is lazy.
But regardless of all those things, and regardless of whether or not you're lazy.. SOMETHING NEEDS TO CHANGE.
I came from a fat family. My own father is diabetic because of it. My mother has hypertension because of it. I am overweight, but fighting as hard as I can to not be obese. I have to live in this body, I want it to be a comfortable place to be.
I'm pretty fat. Not 300 lbs, but over 200. And I have called myself lazy and ugly and shameful and stupid. "Why, why, why can't I lose weight?" I suck, I am hopeless, I am fucked up, I am worthless...etc. I thought if I hated myself sufficiently, I might gain the courage to lose.
Nope, I ate more.
About a week ago, I got the only book that has EVER made sense to me about food and diet and body image: Women, Food and God by Geneen Roth. Guess what? Eating is pretty much the same as any other addiction - we do it to numb our feelings. I still haven't done a hell of a lot about it, but I am noticing when I want to eat, and it is about the same time when other people drink or do drugs or play video games or whatever it is - I eat to soothe my anger, loneliness, tiredness, confusion.
It is so interesting to take a big non-judgemental step back and look at myself and think "Oh, hey, you don't want that granola bar. You want to avoid feeling your feelings." I'm starting to ask myself "Are you hungry? Really? Or are you blocking something else out?"
Food is my drug. And hating myself enough isn't the solution to my weight problem. I'm still fat, but I feel like I am finally making real progress.
One time in the devil-store, Wal-Mart, I saw a 4X bikini, and I was all "W.T.F?! Who the hell is putting that shit on?" But there is someone, and I bet it's someone at your community pool. Sorry, dude.
I've got loads of extra junk in my trunk. I'm trying to do something about it, but it takes commitment and time and every day is a struggle. Never in my chunky-butt life, however, have I once been happy about my extra pounds, and I just don't get people who are. There are lots of things I'm proud of in my life, but that sure as shit isn't one of 'em.
Best line? "Do I care if a mob of lazy fat people hate my guts? Not at all." Like they're gonna effing catch you, BHJ; you run like 900 miles a week.
Yeah, see, awesome. Food rockets dopamine through the pleasure pathway just like sex and dope. But how do most people begin recovery from addictions? By hitting a bottom. That's what I'm alluding to when I'm talking about self-hatred. But self-hatred or not, Suebob, you're reading books and thinking about your relationship to food and that's MOST ASSUREDLY NOT taking steps toward accepting yourself as fat because, dammit, being fat is okay. So we're on the same page. Plus you have a red stapler.
BHJ - I would rather you call me lazy for being on Twitter too much.
BHJ: I didn't. I just decided, and have always decided, that I only really have any interest in what I do to take care of myself. Being fat isn't my problem, ergo it's not up to me to judge why anyone else is or does what they do, and making sweeping proclamations about why others are what they are doesn't make any sense, because I can't know. This topic has been hashed and rehashed a thousand times and it all comes down to the same thing: do what works for you. I'm happy you found something that works for you and made you healthier. That's really all that matters.
I wrote a post just yesterday titled, :Food vs "Food": link: http://tinyurl.com/23p9zyu . I think you have a lot of valid points. The American diet and lack of exercise leaves a lot to be desired. Or absolutely nothing do be desired, if I want to look at that phrase from another perspective. Where IS the desire? Where IS the challenge of self? Very thought provoking, indeed, BHJ.
Having hated my body and therefore myself for most of my life, on and off diets and fitness regimes and living with a constant loop of information in my head that tells me I don't deserve to live means that I am far from a fat accepter. I do support personal accountability, and feel deeply for overweight people who are so far gone that they don't feel capable of anything much less a major life change. Finally, I reject what is societally acceptable use of abusive language towards overweight people. I can think someone needs to change but I don't need to think they deserve to be sworn at or ridiculed.
I refuse, any more, to be viewed as less valid than the thin woman who sat next to me at dinner tonight at an outdoor patio and smoked three cigarettes worth of secondhand garbage into my plate. I could kick her ass at the boxing gym but put us side by side? She'd be viewed at first glance more positively, I guarantee. It's a lot to contend with.
I am tired of the "easy answer" culture about this issue on blogs lately. Between the "I'm fat and beautiful" and "I'm going to punish myself every day and starve" camps there are millions of shades of gray. I want everyone to hoe his or her row and stop assuming they know more about me as an overweight person who has fought against it my whole life than I know about how they became or remain whatever it is that they are.
I also try not to inflict any more of myself on you or anyone else at a community pool than I have to, but I'm more of a beach girl, actually. I'm less concerned with what you think of me than I am about walking through the world every day and feeling like I shouldn't stay in my house or wear a cover-up instead, and I'm not even over 200 pounds. It's a bitch of a way to live, but I have less than zero interest in anyone else understanding it now. I rented out space in this head to other people for 40 years. It's a big part of what's kept me down and convinced I needed to eat. it's a vicious cycle.
That said, I don't entirely disagree with you, not that it really matters. I so frequently disagree with you less that it all evens out.
I've lost weight, regained, and lost again. My only wisdom is personal relative to this subject, written about here:
http://www.sweetney.com/sweetney/2009/06/panopticon.html
Which is to say, yeah, losing weight is fucking hard as shit. But based on my own experience alone, it's a mind game more than anything else, and it's about breaking free of self-defeating, self-hating, self-destructive patterns and habits.
Only speaking for myself and of my own experience here. But it jibes pretty well with what you're saying.