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Monday
May262008

Dear Jackson & Lucy,

There’s a fundamental contradiction in the core of a Dad’s job description.

1). I am supposed to assimilate you into our culture.
2). Our culture is sick.

This fundamental contradiction goes for the most part undetected because the mass of Dads are so successfully assimilated into our culture that they can’t see it for its sickness. Our disease insists we don’t have one.

But here’s our little secret. Nana & Grandpa failed with me. I’ve slipped through the cracks. And I don’t mean I’m some wacky Dad who likes to get down at Disneyland. You know who I’m talking about—all those idiots who act all fun & “childlike” while the others are looking. No. Kids, gather in close and listen: adulthood itself is a sham.

The moment we stop screaming about our vaginas, the game is over.

Careful now. There’s a kind of dance to it. If you don’t learn it well, you might go to prison or get fired or, worse, lose money. But there is a way. We can still dance in slow motion in the orange graveyard. We can knock down all the blocks and have candy for breakfast. And even though the city is burning—O there’s no doubt the thing is alive with fire—we’ll keep dancing. We still have ears for the music in the flames.

My little ones. Never, never, never mistake yourself for these literal people. I love you like the night loves its stars: Dad

Reader Comments (5)

Damn, John, that's some deep shit. You still kiss boo boos and stuff though, right? (This is Cori by the way).

May 28, 2008 at 3:52 AM | Unregistered Commentermrsfortune

I'm officially hooked. Good stuff. :)

June 2, 2008 at 4:06 PM | Unregistered CommenterQuietgirl

I am also hooked.

You make me want to be a better man, and thinking that thought in those particular words makes me feel like a gayer man.

I am also torn between building up that sham just long enough to keep my kids normal, before letting them in on the secrets, but I frequently just can't resist spoiling things for small children. It's not my fault... somehow.

P.S. I hate to think that my self-selected blogger name seems to inescapably lump me in with the hated group here labeled.

June 2, 2008 at 11:06 PM | Unregistered CommenterLiteralDan

1). I am supposed to assimilate you into our culture.
2). Our culture is sick.



Our disease insists we don’t have one.

And our culture can be very harsh with someone who tells the truth. The history of mankind bears witness.

It makes our job tricky, doesn't it.

September 4, 2008 at 7:00 PM | Unregistered Commenterexcavator

I quoted the first couple lines of this on my facebook page, but I only credited you as "the inspirational BHJ" and didn't post a link, because among my 8 friends is my Jehovah's Witness Mother-in-law, and, God love her, she can be close minded as hell. I hope you understand.

May 8, 2009 at 10:18 PM | Unregistered CommenterLiz

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