7 MONTH UPDATE: The 365 BHJ Fitness Extravaganza
Greetings from Sedona. Unless you know where I live. Then, greetings from my house surrounded by vicious dogs and lots of HD video cameras.
A lot has happened during the 7th month of the 365 BHJ Fitness Regime. Indeed, so much that the Regime morphed into an Extravaganza. Did you notice that? That was pretty cool. I never saw that coming.
First, what started off on the wrong foot as a vain tirade of smack talk about lazy fat people has now matured into selfless charitable outreach for muscular dystrophy. Did you see that? It’s like I’m a fucking butterfly or some other crazy shit that becomes splendid. Like a phoenix or something. Do you hear that? Little chirpy birds are singing their yearly announcement that winter has melted into the birth of spring. It’s a Christmas miracle. Scrooge bought the poor people turkey. Etc.
So if you’d please stop sending me hate mail about thyroids and poverty, that would be lovely.
Play the Beatles. Smoke a little pot. Give peace a chance. Let your anger dissolve into charity and donate some money to a good cause. You think I’m a dick? Turn that into helping people. Don’t give in to the Dark Side, Luke. Darth Vader’s your father but there’s still hope for you. Use the Force. Donate.
On August 6th, I’m running a 5K in NYC to help raise money for a little boy named Tanner and muscular dystrophy. Except I’m gonna keep going. I’m gonna run as many 5Ks as I can and I’m not quitting until I’m limping or I vomit. It’s gonna be a blast. Click here for more information or you can just use the widget on the right to donate.
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So, of course, after I received $1000s of dollars in donations and pledges, I got hurt. Karma. It was all part of my transformative butterflication into the Good Lightness from my ashes. On day 200 of the streak, I ran 15K in the morning. I felt good. Strong. That afternoon, I decided to run another 5K in 100+ degree temps because I heard it was hot as balls in NYC. So I’m running along and—ZING—someone sticks a 6 inch knife in my hamstring. That’s what it felt like. I was limping, cursing, slapping my cheeks like that kid in Home Alone.
I spent the next 7 days barely keeping the streak alive with 1 mile limps that got increasingly less painful with the help of my friend, Jimmy, who donated his personal training expertise with text messages all day long telling me when to ice, when to heat, and when to sit in the hot tub. (If you need a trainer, go check him out. He’s the man. And, yes, he can train via email and the phone.)
So I’ve got a couple 10Ks under my belt again and I’m back to feeling healthy and strong. Ready to meet Tanner in NYC and run like hell. If you’re still mad about my post 2 months ago, let’s work it out via email. I’ve made up with a lot of people and I’m sure we can work it out. Unless you’re that dick who leaves nasty comments on every post and sends me email about being bipolar and shit. Fuck you, Stephen. I hope you become a butterfly.
July mileage: 174.
2010 mileage: 1256
Days run in a row: 213
Keep on rockin in the free world. ~bhj
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Reader Comments (17)
>>not quitting until I’m limping or I vomit
Don't be a pussy. A little vomit never killed anyone. Puke and keep running! For Tanner!
Vomit and keep going. Noted.
For inspiration:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MTn1v5TGK_w&feature=related
(For the record, I donated when you first asked. Least bitter fat lazy person EVER)
Still no bitterness here and I wish you the best on your run in NYC. Hope your leg heals quickly --
I'm sorry everyone hates you! Fat people, we store fat and grudges...
heheheheh.
Wishing you all the best. Just imagine that spider's running behind you.
Sorry for not donating, I have bill paying issues at the moment.
I'm glad your hamstring is better! I look forward to hearing about your run so you better be updating on the Twitter! Yeah, I can't tweet and run either but work it out, man.
For the record, I agreed with everything in your post except for the characterization of fat people as lazy but that's a hot button for me.
Shana for President!
People are seriously still hounding you about the fat post? It's called therapy, people, look into it.
Best of luck with the 5K+! You're my hero.
you are the only person i trust with my money!
and my name is Shana, should I run for El Presidente'?
It is amazing how much you rock. Run. BHJ, Run!
run, bhj, run.
I just donated. I'm lazy and kinda overweight. I haven't been to the gym since May and I don't have any good excuses. Puke something up for me.
I just tried on my Tutu and it made me vomit. Does that count?
You've inspired me, though. You never pissed me off (although anger usually motivates me) but your BHJ Fitness Regime got me off my fat ass and into the gym. I'm coming up on 50 lbs lost, and I'm running in the 5k. Or jogging. Or slogging. Or whatever it takes.
You are one bad-ass butterfly, BHJ.
-Ellie
I hope your book is fiction. You're such a great writer, but all the narcissism is boring.
'Puke something up for me.'
Ho. Lee. SHIT. You could be like one of those statues of the Virgin Mary that weeps oil, except, yaknow... Not oil, and you aren't a virgin. You could be the Puking Messiah! Who Runs For A Cause! Or something! Shit, this sounded better in my head. Way more holy-light-coming-down-from- the-clouds-as-you-run-and-wretch... Hm. I'll have to give it s'more thought.
(By the way, you rock. Obviously.)
I was just casually reading news links when I came across this one, and was all, holy cow, that's the boy that BHJ is running for!
http://www.thestar.com/news/gta/article/844270--air-canada-to-send-boy-whose-wheelchair-it-broke-to-disney
Bummer his wheelchair broke, but cool that the company stepped up to take care of it, even if it took some social media pressure :) As least we can use it for good :)
30K in 3:18? With a hamstring situation? You're the toughest butterfly ever.