Sometimes, Comments From Amy Are So Stupid, You Have To Write Whole Posts About Them
Covering the distance from Lucy’s bed in the morning to school feels like climbing Everest. She’s a total pain in the ass. There’s wardrobe issues, breakfast problems, and the double whammy of brushing hassles: hair and teeth. I should interject here, for the small minded people who can’t hear a story without constructing a whole worldview to condemn, that I love Lucy. I fucking love Lucy, okay? The wind whispers Lucy. She’s the future. Etc.
Anyway, Lucy abhors the emergence of morning consciousness. Loving her does not exclude the fact that she’s a terrible person.
But the benefit of having a blog is getting tons of unsolicited advice from, like, life coaches or whatever – people who read blogs to tell strangers how to fix their lives. In the comments for my last post, this Amy idiot announced “Energy follows thought. What you focus on becomes your reality.” So what the fuck? Why not try it with Lucy?
“Lucy honey. You should focus on your pretty dress – see the flowers? - and your yummy breakfast. Mmm. Yummy.” And then she did! We both did! We focused super really hard with our most positivest energy on all of life’s excruciating goodness and I’ll be damned if a rainbow didn’t erupt in the kitchen. There were happy dwarves and unicorns. Lucy’s breakfast transformed into chocolate cake, red licorice, and a 2-liter of Sprite. Flowers bloomed. The sun sang. I came in my pants.
Jack came downstairs, kinda groggy, and asked what the hell was going on. What’s with the rainbow and the flood of boundless joy? “It’s Amy!” I cried. “Wise Amy from my blog says ‘The condition of your life is your choice’ so, for today, me and Lucy choose freewheeling gaiety and lighthearted mirth. Unleash the power, Jack. Free your mind from its prison of negativity. Create your own reality… with the POWER… of your…” I stretched my arms out wide, opened my palms to the sky, and made this kick ass mystical face - “FOCUS!” Thunder clapped. It was so fucking cool. You should’ve been there. You would’ve grooved on my positive vibe.
Jackson grimaced. He’s totally caught in that thinky pre-teen angsty phase where most all stuff sucks. “Your choice?” he scoffed. “200,000 people were just buried alive in Haiti. Was that an earthquake or flawed thinking?” I squinted, telling him to shut up with the gesture of my irritated face. “They chose that how, Dad? What’s your dumb ass new age Secret DVD say about shit like Haiti?”
“Well,” I stumbled around a little. The little fucker had me. “Well, Amy would tell us to shift our thoughts so our lives would shift and then we’d have what she called a ‘better existence’. So… shift your thoughts, smarty pants. Think about happy shit. You know? Focus on it. Like, check out all our cushy American comforts. Let’s partake in some.” But the rainbow? It was gone. The flowers wilted and my dick went limp. Lucy scowled. She said her breakfast was cold, she wanted her Mom, and she hated me.
Life is a mess.
Some people, and they are idiots, think messes get cleaned up by ignoring them. Others, and I applaud their nobility, perform the real work of cleaning them up. Still others, believing that life’s very essence lies in its messiness, find sublime joy in the dirt.
To master the art of playing in the mess. For me that’s the best. Eventually, little girls get off to school. They smile. They hug you. They make the earth quake.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Reader Comments (64)
True 'nough. Lucy's lucky to have you...two peas in a pod...like father, like daughter...squirrels don't raise chipmunks...and whatever other cliches my husband uses to try to make me feel better about my ongoing conflicts with daughter2. (Actually, he doesn't say "like father, like daughter", in case that confused you!) I guess the art of parenting is in "believing that life’s very essence lies in its messiness, find sublime joy in the dirt." I struggle with this most with daughter2 when she's home from college.
It must be really nice in Amy's world. I once had a neighbour who wouldn't watch the news because it was 'too negative' and it harshed her happy. While I think it's okay to be a positive thinker, one must come to the conclusion that in order to have all this positive, we must have negative to appreciate or even recognize the positive. Otherwise one -- like me -- might be tempted to shove a unicorn up someone's backside just to restore balance in the world. Oh man, does my comment even make sense? All I can say is thinking positive isn't a cure all solution otherwise we'd be living in a fairly annoying world right now.
*Some people, and they are idiots, think messes get cleaned up by ignoring them.* thank you, for that.
the mess, that is where we find out what we really are, i think. we face life. we embrace it. those who do not take the time to examine it make me crazy. ok, so i may teeter on this side of crazy, whatever, but to me that that IS the true matter of a Life. ALL of it. the swing from good to bad in one second of time may seem scary to some, but i think its exciting. And comforting, actually.
Are you trying to intimidate me the way you intimidated that young woman into giving you a free bowl of chili? Is that your MO? Do you mock and ridicule others as a way to distract the massess from your own shortcomings? Not much integrity to found there, my friend.
Let me give you some real examples of how energy follows thought:
If you think you're a loser than you more than likely will be a loser because your so focused on your loser life that you fail to see the opportunities that would give you a chance to prove that you're not a loser.
Here's another one: Most people when told that they have a year to live because of a terminal illness generally do die within that time frame because they focus on planning their funeral, saying goodbyes and tying up loose ends, rather than finding the will to life. I know a gentleman that was given a month to live because of renal sarcoma and that was two years and four months ago....and he's still alive. His thoughts and attitude focused on life and that's what has followed.
Athletes use this mindset when competing - if they think they're going to be beaten they will....they give up before even trying. Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy all become real because they are real in the minds of children. Are there not presents under the Christmas tree? Aren't there brightly colored eggs hidden to be found? Isn't there money in place of a tooth under a child's pillow? Do you get it now, BHJ?
If you go into a job interview firmly believing that the job is yours, you will act more confident and behave like the ideal candidate and your chances of getting the job have just increased....go into a job interview with the notion that you're not going to get it and your interview will reflect that thought pattern and you'll more than likely interview poorly.
Instead of mocking things that you're really not knowledgable about why don't you act like an adult and engage in a proper conversation? For some reason I'm thinking that you teach...I hope I'm wrong given your irrational responses and behavior to one person's (a stranger no less) observations of yourself.
And bringing Haiti into your little diatribe was really sad and low of you.
There's no glory in acting in the way that you have.
Take care....
(after Amy's comment)... and here I was thinking that the Haiti mention was perfection...
My God Amy would you shut the fuck up for fuck's sake with all this yammering about the super powers of the mind? You've been dismissed. Go fix someone else with your simplistic observations from the self help section. GAWD. Puking.
oh my GOD. (a) no one didn't GET what you were saying, amy, or wasn't KNOWLEDGEABLE about your trite theorizing. people GOT it and pronounced it stupid. thanks for the redundant and ridiculously oversimplified examples, though. (b) the passive-aggressiveness of "take care" and "my friend" - is that the sort of positivity that we are supposed to be hurling forth into the universe? i don't recall a mention, ever, in the world, of anyone, ever, in the world, being convinced of anything, ever, in the world, through condescension. if you really believed in the power of positive thinking, you would lead by fucking example. (c) i’m stooping low here, but since you appear to be so fond of unsolicited advice, hey, fyi, an ellipsis has three marks, and “it’s” is a contraction while “ITS” is possessive. also, what is “existance?”
bhj, i hereby apologize for getting into a shitting contest with a commenter on your blog. i’ll be trying very, very hard to not respond again.
So. I've been reading for a while. If you can count a few months as a while. I've never commented before, or hell, even read any comments before, because I read your posts on my Google Reader. It saves my precious, beautiful time or something like that. You know, that time that I'm supposed to be spending shooting rainbow glitter butterflies into people's asses with an airsoft pistol, I guess. BUT, since there was a WHOLE dang post about a comment, you know I had to find the culprit. Sneaky.
Anyway. I love your blog. You make me laugh at least twice a week. You made me laugh like fourteen times in a row the very first day I started reading your blog. Because I kept going back farther and farther. The Hupe Snowman.. people at work were starting to stare. Fucking hilarious. And the one about stealing your kid's pot because he's an asshole. Yesss. I'll definitely have to get a different job by the time my two year old turns twelve or fifteen or whenever the prime weed smuggling age will be by then. Because we have random drug tests. And I guess I'll have to start cleaning the house more, or else I'll never find it in the first place.
But it's not only the laughing at the dark and twisty potholes of life. I like your blog because I can relate to you. Because people that are -and the people who think that they are- perfect are boring to me. Because I might just be irrational and ungrounded and an asshole, too. Because I really want to be your friend at the same time that I really don't because you kind of seem too literate for me, and I pride myself on being the wordy one of my friends. Because sometimes telling yourself that you're gross and fat is the only way you'll get your fucking running shoes on.. because I don't know about you, but I can only lie to myself for so long, and believe so much of the "love yourself" bullshit that people say helps.
You're cool dude.
And Amy, for the love of your freaking blissful attitude, don't read his blog anymore. You obviously had deep seated issues before he addressed you personally, or else you're just bringing up old shit for ammo. Like the gimme some more chili girl.
Most things don't bother me. But when I watch stupid online arguments being instigated with people about their outlook on life ON THEIR OWN BLOG, it makes me feel real embarrassed for them, and that feeling makes me uncomfortable. It's the reason I don't like the Meet the Parents movies. Maybe I'd believe you were a happy person with a fanfuckingtastic attitude if you hadn't went from "breathe positive air into the Universe and it'll rain it back down on you" to vomiting with your head spinning around backwards in 5.2 seconds.
Anyway, I've got some extra razors if you need them.
SWEET JEEZUS! So all I have to do is just believe really really hard that the laundry fairy exists and it will HAPPEN??? Fuckin' A awesome. I'm gonna be shitting rainbows within the week.
Amy - Positive thinking doesn't cure cancer, and negativity doesn't kill people. My grandparents have been TRYING to die for decades and it doesn't seem to be working for them.
Know why more people don't read Sartre? Small breasts.
Just what makes that little old ant....
This post is a flaming brown paper bag of horsedung being fired at Oprah Winfrey with one of those bigass slingshots, which is why I like it.
Most people are idiots. And they can shove their energy/focus bullshit up their asses. While I laugh at them.
But you know this.
I'm just SO glad I'm not Amy right now.
This is EXACTLY why I'm afraid to comment here. I had a heart attack when I saw the title of this post and thought, "Holy shit, was I drunk? What did I SAY?"
Thankfully, unless someone gave me roofies, it was another Amy. This time.
Relurking,
Amy
So, a month ago my great-aunt Emily started telling everyone she wanted to die. Doctors told her, "Em, you may be ready but your body isn't." She died this weekend. My folks were real close with her so they are pretty wrecked about it but I figure wherever she is she's happier because death is what she wanted.
Sometimes you can find joy in dark places.
really i hate the time between them getting out of bed and shoving them out the door to school more than anything.
I'm going to focus on my Oliver, morning nightmare child and perhaps rest of the day recurring nightmare child, to one day meet your Lucy and they can make each other happy (or miserable).
I don't know anything about the way the universe works, but i do know something about the way the mind of someone who sees reality for what it is works, and one of the shittiest things you can say to that person is, "Don't be so negative."
We aren't negative. We aren't WILLING shit to happen to us, just because we recognize it. We're probably some of the most positive fucking people in the world, because we see all this crap for what it is, and we somehow decide to not just cut vertical and deep despite it all.
I don't think "postitive thinkers" understand that their positivity blaming is really actually hurtful. People with a year to live didn't die at the year mark because they stopped trying. When you say people live beyond their years with positive thinking, you imply that those who wrapped up loose ends and accepted death with grace and dignity didn't love life. Fuck that shit.
I'm pretty sure BHJ, or someone like myself, wouldn't give two shits if you decided to live your life with a glass half full, but when you tell us ours is emptier than yours because we choose not to say crap like "glass half full" and that it's all our fault, you better believe you're going to get an earful.
Um, sorry to use your blog comments section to indirectly lash out at my mom, BHJ. You can send me a bill.
Seriously, Amy, just go. You are not sounding positive here.
In other news, I'm delighted to find out that I am not eating healthy, I have Food Fear! I can probably get medication for that.
Wow. You just TOTALLY broke Amy's balls. I mean, I don't know if Amy has balls (probably not since Amy is a girls name and girls don't usually have balls) but if she did, they'd have been shattered into a million pieces by this post.
My balls and my ego are well intact. The only way they could ever be shattered is if I gave any value to those who tried to shatter them.
Everyone is entitled to their opinions and it seems that this is a forum where mockery, ridicule and spite is encouraged if you do not conform to the mindset of BHJ. That's too bad because there could be a lot of meaningful discussions based on the content of this blog. No room for diversity of thought here.
BHJ, I imagine there could be just as many posters who would support where I was coming from, but you sent a clear message to all that if anyone dares to challenge your pearls of wisdom they will be feasted upon shortly by your minions. Great way to keep the troops in line and the infidels out.
Butterfly days and Unicorn dreams to you all......
You didn't come here for meaningful discussion. You came here to educate me and you're dumbfounded that we're all too dense to understand you. I bet most people say "Oh, Amy. You're so smart. Tell me more. Tell me more."
Why don't we? What's wrong with us?
Amy's spouting sounds like the "Religion of Oprah". Paah. She's welcome to her opinions and beliefs, but she can't expect people to buy it just because she says it, Oprah says it, Eckhart Tolle says it, etc. I find it's pap.
Hey Amy...if I disagree with BHJ on something, I usually don't comment. If I had a constructive thought I might, but he writes about his life experiences and how can I construct on that? Is it helpful if I tell him that there really IS a W in front of the "illows", he just can't see it? Hell, most of the time I think he's being ironic or sarcastic or some other concept that is hard for me to wrap my head around. I find that his writing makes me look for the meaning in what he's saying, because what immediately hits me is usually pretty shallow...then I read the comments of others and see there were about 3 or 4 deeper levels I could have taken it if i had taken the time. Now I try to take the time so I don't sound like you in the comment section.
BHJ, please don't tell me I sound like her in my comments...I'd be crushed.
Did you know that there's a woman named Esther who - and I am not making this up, google "Esther Abraham" - says she communicates with a bunch of dead famous people and she calls them all collectively "Abraham" and she spews exactly this kind of newage (rhymes with "sewage") "The Secret" style Oprahliciousness all over people like, oh, my mother in law? Then my mother in law forwards them to us and says they're "quotes from Abraham - you know, the guy in the Bible?" but I'm pretty sure THAT Abraham would never have said (this was today's):
There is not something you're supposed to do. There's not something that you should do. There is only that which you are inspired to do. And how do you get inspired except by the contrast? It's the life experience that gives you the idea of the desire, and then as you focus upon the desire, the Energy flows.
--- Abraham
...and when we say, "That doesn't sound like the Abraham in the Bible, Mom," and "That sounds like bullshit, Mom," and "For the love of all that is holy, please don't give these charlatans any money, Mom," we are dismissed as "not getting it" or "not being in tune with our energy - oh, I mean Energy - flow," and other horse shit?
We have to watch my mother in law piss away what little money she has left buying books and workshops that support this kind of newage bullshit, knowing that we're going to have to support her in her old age because of her "investment" in her "Energy," while Esther (and her co-conspirator Jerry) laugh their way to the bank.
Well, now you know.
This kind of thing isn't harmless... I find it very harmFUL. Getting gullible people, usually baby boomers who should be planning their retirement (or living frugally because they are twice divorced and retired!) to buy this line of useless "woo" is very, very harmful indeed. Because on the surface, "The Secret" and all its friends are seductive! "Yes, I've been negative! Yes, I've brought bad things into my life! All I have to do is think positive (and give Esther and her pals more money for books on how to be positive!) and my bad luck will turn around!!" No, no it won't. Bad things happen. There's a lot of bad in the world - bad people, bad "energy," bad charlatans like Esther trying to take your money via her imaginary friends! You can't just stick your head in the sand and pretend that it's all rainbows and unicorns. It's a very immature way to approach the world, and it's very unattractive on a 60+ year old woman!
There is a path to happiness - work hard, do the right thing, make good choices that will have good consequences, not bad choices that will have bad consequences. Surround yourself with people whose values are similar (people who work hard, do the right thing, and make good choices most of the time, or try to). Laugh every day. Cry when you need to. In other words, LIVE. Eat good food and drink excellent wine, but neither to excess. Understand that most things are 80/20 - 80% work and 20% fun, 80% drudgery and 20% excitement. Understand that "happiness" is a stupid goal, but contentment is achievable. Set realistic goals. And when you feel really awful, get out of your own head and do something for someone who is worse off (this from someone who has been to the razor's edge of suicide and come back - so don't tell me I'm patronizing. Volunteering has saved me more than once.)
And I feel better now, having vented. Maybe I should start my own pseudo-religion.
(Putting on my flame-proof underwear and posting this... and wondering why I didn't re-lurk when I said I would!)
i love this comment section...
Hi Amy. Welcome back. You're here again.
Why?
No, really. Why?
Are you thinking happy thoughts?
I'm still wondering if we can arrange the future marriage of Lucy and Oliver.
I am going to go focus on pooping a gold brick. It's going to hurt, but at least it won't be messy.
Amy, have you ever REALLY had a thorough conversation with someone who has an actual, honest-to-Christ death wish, passive as though that death wish might be?
They run willy-nilly and crash into life, expecting, with a cackle.
Just because they are expecting to die doesn't mean they are not having one fuck of a fine time.
Here's what you don't understand: It's not the fact that you didn't agree with BHJ; it's the way that you presented your Essay In Positivity that was irksome. Please see comment just above yours on the last post for a working example of The Palatable Way To Do It. "You're doing it differently than me" does not have to equal "you're fucking doing it wrong."
There are days when I secretly think that this is my husband's secret blog...particularly when you write posts like this one.
Loving her does not exclude the fact that she’s a terrible person. - That's pure genius, and so undeniably true.
A great big thank you for writing this to all the idiot Amys of the world. I hate those damn Amys.
adventuresoflawmommy.blogspot.com (your comment filter won't let me put this as my URL. I swear it's valid and real and updated regularly.
my legs are sore, and it's your fault. also, it's cold outside at 9pm when i finally have time to run.
I got so much of that bullshit when I got cancer. "Think positive, and you'll get better!" they'd say. I don't think they realized that they were also telling me I'd probably given myself cancer. Rude, to say the least. And I still occasionally get an e-mail after writing a post that isn't all roses to tell me to be positive lest I get cancer again.
Poor, misguided control freaks.
i might be falling a little bit in love with some of the whipsmart commenters. EmilyG, Jett (excellent note about the well-executed critical comment above Amy's on the original contentious post), Another Amy, lotsa the others of yous - lovely points, and well said. i am actually quite impressed with our diversity of thought, and the layers that are added by the truly thoughtful (like Lojo mentioned).
also, does anyone recall hearing the following story? i'm not sure where i got it, but here is the possibly-bastardized version of something-that-may-have-happened: oprah was talking about her Secret once, and the power of wishful thinking etc. etc. etc., and she mentioned that she had been at some event, blowing bubbles for kids or something, and it was terribly enjoyable. the bubbles, the laughter - it was good. so she thought to herself, "i would like to blow more bubbles in my life," and it became a bit of a mantra. more bubbles, need more bubbles. shortly, she discovered a sterling silver bubble-blower on her desk. alas! she had put her desire out there, and the universe had provided! now, (a) the bourgeois mentality of entitlement-to-sterling-silver-novelty-items is staggering and vomity, but also, (b) apparently one of oprah's assistants had placed the silver bubble blower there some days or weeks earlier, as a thoughtful gift, and his/her feelings were hurt because OPRAH HAD INITIALLY NEVER NOTICED OR ACKNOWLEDGED IT, then suddenly decided that it was a gift to her from the universe. so you know.
i like that story.
These aren't my words - they're from an email I got after having a self-righteous strip torn off of me by "positive people" who behave like smug assholes. My friend Tash says it well here (in the context of being bereaved after the loss of a child). Reading all this made me think of it, and want to pass it on.
"I'm currently reading Barbara Ehrenreich's "Bright Sided: How the Relentless Promotion of Positive Thinking has Undermined America," and I can't tell you how much it's throwing the last 2.5 years into relief for me. People running away from us in droves, not being able to regain Hope (It's an emotion! It's not a learned ideology! Why didn't someone put it to me just like that about two years ago?), etc. -- it's v. eye-opening and so far I agree with it 1000%. To me, I just throw "public grieving" in when she's talking about something else and it still makes a world of sense. Anyway, this movement could really use a slap upside the head it sounds like -- Ehrenreich's big into how positive thinking can -- if you're not careful -- erode your basic core of things like scientific reasoning and rational thought, and eventually make you lose a ton of power when you abandon your friends and quit reading news and create your own reality..."
I'd be fascinated to know: Amy, did this exchange make you feel good? Worthy? Big and expansive? Positive? Will you recommend such an incident to others as a way of inflating their sense of personal power or rightness?
And please know that "I'd be fascinated to know" is just a turn of phrase.
this is perfect, BHJ.
also, "To master the art of playing in the mess. For me that’s the best. Eventually, little girls get off to school. They smile. They hug you. They make the earth quake."
well said.
These last two posts (and their comments) are some of the funniest shit I've read in a long time. It's like an Evangelical Christian attempting to convert people on an Atheist forum. Better comedic value here, though... I mean, when a commenter can say something like "a flaming brown paper bag of horsedung being fired at Oprah Winfrey with one of those bigass slingshots" what more to life is there?
Lojo
The feeling is mutual regarding your comments being mistaken for mine.
I do understand that it's much more appealing to be a lemming than to be crushed by the BHJ's of the world.
Good luck in finding that little something that makes you shine above the rest!
The comments on BHJ are rarely as good as the post, but today, they are damned close. Jackson's point about Haiti is enough to make anyone's dick go limp. I know mine did. Metaphorically, of course. Metaphor hard-ons are the best kind I know.
Amy, you really seem to get off on the crushing. Otherwise, why are you still here?
Okay Amy. That's your 15 minutes. Move along. Move along.
Fuck. My first problem with Amy's rant is that it is harshing my BHJ buzz. Apparently, being a Secretite means you can't have a fucking sense of humor. If thats not a deadly sin, it should be.
My other problem with this philosophy is that it's like having R2D2 around just to do your vacuuming. I mean the human brain is a complex and wonderful creation and so much beauty and achievement is born of suffering and torment (think Hemingway, Joyce, Van Gough, BHJ....) It's the human condition. Think of the bleakness that would result if all of our fearsome mental power was directed just to channel positive energy.
No suffering? Not a world I want to live in!
she can't get enough attention, narcissists never can.
great writing, BHJ, great post!
Dang. If this is what "shining above the rest" looks like, sign me up for Lemming 101.
Amy, do you have a blog? I'm sure we'd all like to experience it, especially since you're a fan of people striking up "meaningful debate" in the comment section. I bet we could have a super hupe time in Amyland.
Does this mean that you took the party streamers down?
It seems like Amy has been reading you for a long time, at one point she started to care about you, and then she decided she was going to fix you. She loved you BHJ. It's a real life love story and all of this just breaks my heart.
Just got caught up on your blog. You know I read in batches. The running thing is amazing. I hope you are doing the same thing with the writing. meaning every day.
I spent the last several years trying to make the best of a life choice that didn't work for me but did work for my husband. Now I'm in the middle of a divorce because when it came time to make a life choice that could work for both of us, he wasn't willing to try. I learned a lot about myself and my limits and my resources during the past five years. They gave me the strength I'm going to need to get through this. My goal is to come out the other side a stronger, better person who is living the life she wants to have. But you know what? All of the positive thinking in the world couldn't save my marriage. God knows I tried.
Sometimes shit just happens to you anyway and you have to clean it up and get on with things. That's when you figure out who you really are.
Life is hard. There's no getting around that. It just. fucking. is. That doesn't mean there isn't sweetness. It just means there's a lot of pain and a lot of struggle and a lot of hard work involved in getting to those moments of magic. What's wrong with admitting that?
Think confidently before a job interview and you will act confidently? Also--athletes are supposed to believe in their ability to win? That helps them? And kids who believe in Santa Claus get presents? Astounding and ground breaking.
Amy, I've got no problem with your above statements (however simplistic). However, when you go around telling people They Are Doing It Wrong, you come off as smug and silly. And when you invoke the dying person stories, I start to take issue with that. I knew a woman who was diagnosed with end stage liver cancer at age 56 and didn't live to see her only grandson be born by days. DAYS. She also shit herself a lot at the end. She cried a lot. None of us were very happy that she had those few months to say goodbye. Least of all her daughter who just wanted her mother to see her firstborn son. Were we all Doing It Wrong?
What we are (snarkily) pointing out to you is that there is a flip side to the positive thinking trope and BHJ writes about that underbelly quite well. That's why I come here. Why do you?
Namaste.
I wonder if Amy was the one who left me an email informing me my debilitating car accident (where asshole ran a stop sign and smashed into my car) was my fault. Apparently I wanted to be disabled because I must have put energy out into the universe causing Asshole to run the stop sign and t-bone my car.
Yes, really.
The worst part of all this? Amy is the name of a good friend of mine, who is as different from this annoying piece of douchery as possible. She would laugh, laugh, laugh at this "Think Positive" bullshit.
And then she would slap this Amy.
These "positive thinker" people get on my last fucking gay nerve. Why? Several reasons:
1. The implication that positive thinking is all you need to make your life better. Not hard work, not education, not determination. No. Just "think positively!" and all will work out. There's a word for that in clinical circles, and it rhymes with Belusional.
2. The insinuation that good things happen if you just "think" them, so if good things DON'T happen to you, it's ENTIRELY your fault for not thinking good thoughts hard enough. Or even, for possibly thinking bad thoughts. Things like Haiti (sorry, Pat Robertson, the only pact with the devil is the one you made years ago), cancer, death of a child, and more horrendously horrible events happen because they happen. Life sometimes sucks for no reason. Taking the blame for things that are unpreventable is a REALLY good way to wind up in a psych hospital.
3. Speaking of which - those of us who suffer from clinical depression are REALLY FUCKING INSULTED by the implication that the key to happiness is to Just Think Happy Thoughts. Really? When you suffer from a chemical imbalance that causes you to not even be able to get out of bed some days? Oh, Dr. Amy, please tell me more! It's bullshit like this (thank you, Mr. Tom Cruise, you fucking moron) that perpetuates the myth that depression can be cured for everyone by just "thinking" your way out of it. Dumbass.
So yeh, next time you might want to try keeping your fucking mouth shut. Especially when you get the urge to provide unsolicited advice. Might help you avoid being called out for the dumbass you are.