Fucking Another Woman In the Bathroom Doesn't Have To Mean Fucking Another Woman In The Bathroom
Jenna keeps having this dream where I’m having sex with some woman in the bathroom, which, gross. Germs. Anyway, yeah, ick—Anyway, I ask her if the woman is black and she says “No. Why? Would that symbolize something?” and I say “I don’t know. But I’ve never been with a black woman and how crazy would it be if your psyche was compensating for the black lack in my sexual history?”
So now Jenna’s not speaking to me and, yeah, I’m shocked too. I’ve known her forever and never knew she was a racist. You’d think with all her world travels and plentiful exposure to varied cultural forms that she’d be a little more open minded. In fact, I’m the one who grew up sheltered on the west side of Michigan with only one black kid in the whole school. Lartice. I never head sex with Lartice but it wasn’t because I was racist. I just didn’t mess with the gay stuff until I got to college. So at most, I was homophobic, but only until college.
Anyway, Jenna, free your mind and the rest will follow. Be colorblind. Don’t be so shallow.
So I need your help. What do you think her dream means? I mean of course it’s not, like, literal. It’s not like we live in Baton Rouge or some shit with all the chicken bones and blood in my coffee. I tried to tell her, through the locked bedroom door, that it’s completely out of bounds for her to hold me personally responsible for the way I manifest in her sleeping psyche.
I mean there’s all kinds of psychological junk in there with the sex and the bathroom and the poop and there’s gotta be a way to get me off the hook and blame her parents for this mess. I mean in all likelihood, I’m not even me. I’m probably her Dad or the King or God or a Plumber and the sex—it’s never explicitly about fucking. It’s like a veil for creativity or communion with Otherness or the tearing asunder of the distinction between subject and object to reveal some primordial mystery to Jenna’s hungry soul.
Or is there some connection between sex and the bathroom? The toilet is where waste goes, which is Death or something cool like that, and maybe in the end all our creative endeavors amount to nothing more than big piles of shit or, on a more positive note, maybe the sex is actually an affirmation of our instinctual lives in spite of the Toilet’s ever present maw, the wasteland, the specter of Death. In that case, fuck on, friends. Fuck on.
Thoughts? Ideas? Interpretations that overlook any wrongdoing on my part? Let’s hear it.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Reader Comments (26)
Well, sometimes sex is about betrayal and such and maybe it WAS her dad or God having sex in the bathroom instead of you (I can see how one could confuse you all) but sometimes (at least for me) a dream about my husband having sex with someone else IS about him having sex with someone else. Not that he has (to my knowledge. I HOPE NOT!) but my insecurities over my own issues and appearance and worth and blah blah blah psycho mumbo jumbo which all boils down to maybe it's just what it appears: She fears losing you and to something as base as sex with a stranger in a bathroom. Awwww! She loves you.
Now, my own recent dream about being with another woman (who WAS black! Imagine the coincidence!) and marrying her in Europe? THAT dream is something to analyze and be worried about...
Let's get down to the real issue here, folks. There ain't no fixin' this until you suck it up and apologize for whatever the hell it is she's mad at you about (don't ask me, I don't fucking understand women. Even if I am one. If I dream about hubs getting fucked in the bathroom? That's what I call Party Time For Me) . It doesn't matter if this is all REALLY your fault or not, now, does it? In the end, you're gonna tell her those seven little words she wants to hear:
I'm sorry, I'll never do it again.
'Cuz let's be brutally honest here, BHJ - ain't NO one getting fucked in the bathroom until you do. Except maybe in Jenna's dreams. And that's no fun for anyone. Well, except maybe Jenna.
I don't know about your dream, but I'm pretty sure you just ruined me for the week with that En Vogue reference. It's gonna take steel wool to get that out of my skull.
I'm sorry, but I'm laughing, laughing, laughing! You've reminded me of some GREAT sex I had in the bathroom long ago and far away (sorry honey). The bathroom was pristine and the sex was profound. You need to have some awesome bathroom sex with your wife; just make sure to clear the counter first and I'll leave the rest to your imagination, or Jenna's imagination. Have sex with Jenna in the bathroom and this whole dream thing goes away.
Dude, just fuck her in the bathroom and see if the dream goes away. It's a win-win, no?
sorry, all I can think of is 'wasn't me' and now I will have that god damned song stuck in my head for the rest of the day.
I hope you are happy now Jenna. You totally ruined my day with your freaky dreams.
Yeah, I'm with Amy on this one. I think you both may just need to get laid. ;-)
I have this recurring dream where I'm in disguise and my husband picks me up in a bar and fucks me from behind int he bar's bathroom, never realizing it's me. I have no fucking clue what it means, but I'm always mad at him in the morning. Sorry. I'm no help.
My guess is that the woman in the bathroom is you, and you are you. You're fucking yourself in the bathroom, and Jenna knows that she can't intrude on the intimate congress that goes on between you and you. The bathroom is the place of the abject, of separation - literally. I don't know how to say this without sounding vile or making Jenna's subconscious sound vile, but the bathroom is where you produce and bid goodbye to black objects. What she's expressing is anxiety over your privacy, and the place where you produce excrement - not just literal excrement, but your creative activity, your unbidden thoughts, the entire messy stew of all that goes on behind your eyes. She shares a life with you, has children with you, sails that weird boat of marriage into the future with you, but she can't ever truly have what's inside you. And that's what the black woman is. That's you with your skin off. So in a sense, the black woman is you, you are a shell - an object - and you are fucking a mask of yourself. And that's what Jenna shares her bed with: the mask of you. Not the black woman of you, which is what she fears and desires simultaneously. Maybe you should take her out for a nice meal some time.
With a little help from Dr. Google I've come up with something that totally gets you off the hook.
Dreaming you are in a bathroom relates to instinctual urges. It may symbolize your need to cleanse yourself emotionally and psychologically. Dreaming of sex refers to the psychological integration of contrasting aspects of the self. And if you dream you are having sex with someone else it suggests dissatisfaction with the physical side of your relationship.
SO....Jenna must be feeling that YOU are dissatisfied with the physical side of the relationship and she's feeling badly about that. Maybe there's some freaky stuff she previously would not do for/to/with you and she's feeling guilty about it. Maybe she's just not feeling all that sexy lately.
Get off the damn computer and go seduce your wife.
Maybe you guys should have sex in the bathroom. Maybe it was Jenna in there.
(It is clean in the shower.)
Wow. Everyone has such intelligent input. I was going to suggest it was something she ate. Buffalo wings make my husband do bad things in my dreams.
I, and several of my friends, have been on the wrong end of the cheater dream. Apparently that is a VERY real dream for wives, leaving them completely whacked out upon awakening. Regardless of what it "means" don't make light of it. Let her know that even though you don't understand why she'd have such a dream that you'd lover her even she'd dreamed that you'd played catcher in a Tiajuana donky show.
I, and several of my friends, have been on the wrong end of the cheater dream. Apparently that is a VERY real dream for wives, leaving them completely whacked out upon awakening. Regardless of what it "means" don't make light of it. Let her know that even though you don't understand why she'd have such a dream that you'd lover her even she'd dreamed that you'd played catcher in a Tiajuana donky show.
I, and several of my friends, have been on the wrong end of the cheater dream. Apparently that is a VERY real dream for wives, leaving them completely whacked out upon awakening. Regardless of what it "means" don't make light of it. Let her know that even though you don't understand why she'd have such a dream that you'd lover her even she'd dreamed that you'd played catcher in a Tiajuana donky show.
I've had the dream of hubby having sex with someone else...never figured out what it meant, but I can remember being totally mad about it, even though I realized it was a dream. I can only be about the dreamer's psyche, though...it can't have anything to do with you...even if you did screw someone in the bathroom...her psyche acted it out. Maybe you should be mad at her for dreaming such a vile thing! How dare she!
According to some Jungian approaches, everything in the dream is an aspect of the dreamer's self: you, the woman, the bathroom, each represents some aspect of Jenna's psyche, and may only tangentially relate to you at all. You in the dream represents something other than you in real life. So that should let you off the hook.
HOWEVER.
As the haver of emotionally-laden dreams that had to do with someone significant in my life, I can assure you that it FEELS real even if your conscious brain is telling you it isn't. You still have a very real emotional response and memory. You might want to buy her flowers.
Buffalo wings give me weird dreams too, Leslie!
She wants you to clean the bathroom.
ditto to palinode. word. whatever. it fits.
i cant help but feel like this dream is something we all have, in one form or another when in a long term relationship. it drums up ideas about, you know, all those aspects of another person, human, that we can never control. that dream, in my very humble opinion, represents inaccessablity.
your choices => the other woman;
your insides, your internal everything => the bathroom,
the things no one else (she, in this case) can never have access to or touch, control?
regardless, i also agree. do something nice and then seduce your wife. in the bathroom. 2 birds, baby.
this was a great post. i thought about that for 2 days. shuttup. you do it too :)
hi again!
typo bastards. double negative much?!
not can Never. can Ever.
:)
Jenna wants you to take her on a trip to Africa so that you'll appreciate the luxury of modern plumbing.
I think she's just pissed off at Tiger Woods.
I had a dream that my husband fucked Salma Hayek once (that's his freebie, btw) and I was pissed at him for days, which really probably means I should revise the whole freebie thing.
Also, the chili story is classic, although I would totally not want to be on the receiving end of that chili-demanding statement.
Well...clearly...
You need to do it in the bathroom.
Duh.
maybe.
but then again -- no.